recreational hobos

my children hate the local rec center. i don't know why - other than perhaps it makes them feel like "other children." so i was not surprised when recently, following through on a threat, i made them go there for the day and my son threw an absolute fit about it. he told me that he couldn't go because the last time he was there a hobo tried to kill him. amelia reluctantly joined her class, but mac refused to go. so as i stood there in the rec center lobby trying to explain to him that maybe he misunderstood the hobo's intentions last time, an acquaintance walked up with her two boys, who are the same ages as and go to school with my children. this was great news for my daughter, who likes the boy that is her age but it is terrible news for mac, who upon seeing the other boy starts yelling "oh no, not timmy." well, of course, timmy's mom looked offended but she proceeded to drop her children off (with ease) and was quickly back out in the lobby where mac was still going on about how timmy would try to kill him with a machine gun if i left him there. so this other mom kneels down to mac's level (and i assume she is trying to help me out here and console him so that i can get out of there) and she says to him "well, mac, as i recall, at the spring program at school, it was you and not timmy who was hitting other kids and making everyone mad." at this point, all i could think was "are you fucking kidding me?" so while i was trying to console my son and drop him off so that i could have three hours of peace, this woman was seriously going to stand there and argue with a crying seven-year-old over who was worse - mac or her son timmy? i tried to give her some perspective by explaining to her that before timmy walked up, the hobo had been the target of mac's anger, but she seemed unaffected by this information. for some unknown reason, i apologized to her and then whisked mac away to where the well-adjusted seven-year-olds were happily playing. i bitterly and sarcastically wished his teacher good luck and stormed out into the parking lot, peeled out and headed for starbucks for a $4 cup of transfat-and-sugar-laden peace.

year-round school - making the case

what ever happened to all that talk about year-round school? i, for one, support it. and not just because my kids fight with each other and drive me crazy all summer. okay, actually that is the only reason. but surely there would be some economic benefits. working parents would be better employees, not having to deal with summer camps or temporary babysitters. and teachers would make more money that would go right back into the economy, right? stock in fiskars and crayola would likely skyrocket.

and let's not forget the benefits year-round schooling would bring to the children. i can attest to the fact that summer equals fighting with siblings. the nonstop, obnoxious and sometimes violent, fighting. not only is it dangerous, but surely it is damaging to their delicate, still-developing self-esteem. and for children with no siblings with whom to fight, clearly they need the socialization that only a school classroom can provide.

opponents of year-round schooling (probably just teachers), might ask "what about summer vacations?" as my sister says, vacations are for grown-ups, something you earn - by finishing all of your school. this would provide motivation for kids to stay in school. let's make them earn that weekend of cruising the miracle strip in panama city beach. drop-out rates would plummet.

in closing, economic windfall, psychologically healthier, more motivated kids, diminished drop-out rates, i can't find a downside here.