my dad has been contemplating and discussing his death for years now. i can't tell you how many "last" christmases he's had. he also likes to point out last purchases - "this is the last washing machine i will ever have to buy" (said with relief and enthusiasm).
i was on the phone with him this morning complaining about some recent home-related expenditures and he said "well, here's one thing you don't have to worry about paying for. i talked to bob lovein at the funeral home this week and i made all the arrangements so you, michelle and ronnie don't have to worry about paying for that." at this point, he paused and i suppose he expected me to tell him what a relief that was to me. he continued:
bob said they would come get me, whether it was at home or at the hospital or from up under a semi truck. they'd scrape me up and take me to the funeral home and put me in a temporary casket. then, they're gonna open it up and you and ronnie and michelle have got an hour to look at me and say how good i look and how it looks just like me.
after that, they're gonna carry me to tifton to the crematory place they got there and they will put me in there at about a thousand degrees. well, first they gotta get my metal hip replacements out because they'll spark up in that incinerator. after that, they'll put what's left of me in there and then give y'all the ashes.
i want ya'll to take those to my family's gravesite and sprinkle them there. the first good rain and that will be the end of that.
so there you have it - that is a preview of how randy joe anticipates it will go down in the end. he did make a passing mention of us going back to his house and drinking and talking about him some more. i'm just glad he is still here to keep giving me stories to tell, although if you asked him, he'd say that was the last one.
