with hurricane ike, the 3rd or so tropical event to threaten our area, now churning in the gulf, i have noticed a disturbing trend here at the beach. people seem to live on a hurricane timeline. i find it unnerving to constantly hear comments like "oh, we installed the new countertops after ivan" or "we got the new pine plank floors after dennis" or "i got my 400cc implants after katrina."
i also heard someone say, regarding hurricanes, "it's a small price to pay to live in paradise." considering ivan wiped out about half the houses here and filled the other half to their roofs with sand and debris, i would argue that it was a rather large price to pay - but i guess i haven't been here long enough. i can see how over time, living at the beach would lead to that mentality- and perhaps rehab. when we first moved here, i wondered why people weren't drunk all the time because the beach just makes me want to have a beer. then i realized they were drunk most of the time. in addition to fighting drinking beer at 10am, i discovered that it was difficult not to order fried foods every time we went out and to otherwise eat like i am on vacation. but that truly is a small price to pay to live in paradise, i guess.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
the cone of uncertainty
another hurricane is looming in the gulf. today, the radio weather guy told me that while it looked as though louisiana would be the target of hurricane gustav, our area should keep an eye out because we are in the "cone of uncertainty." i decided that i liked this term and that it applies to pretty much every aspect of my life. i thought i would start using it as an excuse for things. for instance - "i would love to come to your pampered chef party next friday, but i can't because i am in a cone of uncertainty."
and speaking of uncertainty, my son (7), who has "issues" at school, absolutely refused to go into the classroom yesterday. i tried to force him into the room but he resisted - finally telling me that he wanted to go in but that his crocs (shoes) were controlling him and that they would not let him go in. how do i argue with this? i finally got him in the room (after about 15 minutes). that afternoon i told him that tomorrow morning i didn't want to hear that his crocs wouldn't let him in the classroom and he said "oh, it's okay mom, tomorrow is p.e. day. i will be wearing my tennis shoes." so apparently, the tennis shoes don't mind going to school. good to know.
and speaking of uncertainty, my son (7), who has "issues" at school, absolutely refused to go into the classroom yesterday. i tried to force him into the room but he resisted - finally telling me that he wanted to go in but that his crocs (shoes) were controlling him and that they would not let him go in. how do i argue with this? i finally got him in the room (after about 15 minutes). that afternoon i told him that tomorrow morning i didn't want to hear that his crocs wouldn't let him in the classroom and he said "oh, it's okay mom, tomorrow is p.e. day. i will be wearing my tennis shoes." so apparently, the tennis shoes don't mind going to school. good to know.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
tropical storm exception to drinking rules
it has arrived. my first tropical storm while living at the beach and i have to admit that in some weird, never-experienced-a-hurricane ignorant way, i am disappointed with it so far. don't misunderstand me, i certainly don't want any damages or injuries, but some excitement or something to give closure to the media-induced hype and it just hasn't come. the weather channel has guilted me into creating a hurricane preparedness kit (which thus far consists of 3 flashlights and a 12-pack) and chastised me for not having a family disaster plan (although i did tell the kids to run, preferably with the crowd, screaming, hands in the air). seriously though, does it really help to have a family disaster plan? isn't the lack of planning the cornerstone of a disaster? i suppose i have officially jinxed myself and those within a 60-mile radius of me for the rest of this hurricane season.
i did decide, based on the empty shelves in the beer refrigerators at the convenience store here, that tropical storms now qualify for an exception to my one-beer-per-day rule. unfortunately for me though, tropical storm fay has arrived on a saturday when a well-established exception is already in effect.
i did decide, based on the empty shelves in the beer refrigerators at the convenience store here, that tropical storms now qualify for an exception to my one-beer-per-day rule. unfortunately for me though, tropical storm fay has arrived on a saturday when a well-established exception is already in effect.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
a title that does not result in google searches that lead to this entry
the sole purpose of today's entry is to express my outrage over the cupcakes i just purchased at publix. i should start by telling you that i promised amelia (whose birthday was a few days ago) that i would send some cupcakes in for her 5th grade class (in the hope of buying her a friend at her new school). unbeknownst to me at the time of the promise, there are 26 kids in her class - and don't forget the teacher - you can't not bring an extra cupcake for the teacher. so, as you might guess, publix does not sell 27 pre-packaged cupcakes. i had to buy two dozen cupcakes at $8.59 each and then buy six more for $4.99. i can't figure out how much it cost altogether (because that would take a lot of effort on my part), but it seems like a lot of money for some cupcakes, particularly cupcakes that i find to be mediocre at best. i actually paused right there in the publix bakery and considered making them myself. but only for a second because i remembered that in addition to being entirely too unmotivated to do that, i am completely inept in the kitchen (except for my drinking and snacking skills which are nearly perfect). i used to believe that i was bad at cooking because i hated it so much and perhaps wasn't giving it my all. but sadly, more recently, i have actually put forth some effort and discovered that everything i make either sucks or is completely average and certainly not worth all of that effort. as you may have guessed by now, i can justify spending money on a lot of things, but somehow, i cannot find a way to make it acceptable for me to have a personal chef. this is not to say that it can never be justified, but it is nearly impossible to do so now when i can't afford some new tires or the minimum payment on at least one of my credit cards. but the story has a happy ending because the cupcakes were a huge success - the teacher loves me and amelia has quickly made lots of friends so it was totally worth the $8.59 times two plus $4.99 and tax.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
home, the anti-school
you (my nonexistent readership) know it's that time of year again when your 7-year-old says "mom, i want to go to j.c. penney" and you ask why (since you have never taken this child to j.c. penney) and he replies "because they get you back to school. it's what they do." of course, you also know at this point that your child watches too much tv, but that is a story for another blog entry.
if my own parents were giddy about me and my sister going back to school, they never let on. i know they must have been - or at least my mom must have been, since it was back in the 70s and 80s when dads were working some, playing golf or otherwise doing something enjoyable while the moms were trapped at home raising children. i believe that it was only recently that dads became more involved or "hands on" as i hear people say. i have never liked this term, as i am not very handsy (as JD from scrubs would say) or touchy and i am pretty sure it just means that the dads come home from work and acknowledge the children before the mom bathes them and gets them off to bed.
but i digress. so i am not sure that i am hiding the fact that i am giddy about my kids going back to school. well, i know i am not hiding it because i say it - to anyone who will listen. it's that good for me. in fact, recently, i was telling another 10-year-old, who happens to be homeschooled, that i couldn't wait for my kids to start school and she looked at me and asked in an accusatory tone "why are you ready for them to start school?" and i replied "to get them the hell away from me so that i can get something done and have some peace." okay, i didn't really say that, i said something like that i had a lot of things to get done and that it would be much easier when the kids were at school. either way, i felt her 10-year-old homeschooled judgment. and don't think that i am picking on homeschoolers, because i haven't yet. i actually considered homeschooling, but then i decided that i wanted my kids to be smart - and alive - so we went the traditional school route. i do, however, respect people who homeschool - in the same way that i respect religious freaks - in an i-completely-can't-relate-to-you kind of way.
if my own parents were giddy about me and my sister going back to school, they never let on. i know they must have been - or at least my mom must have been, since it was back in the 70s and 80s when dads were working some, playing golf or otherwise doing something enjoyable while the moms were trapped at home raising children. i believe that it was only recently that dads became more involved or "hands on" as i hear people say. i have never liked this term, as i am not very handsy (as JD from scrubs would say) or touchy and i am pretty sure it just means that the dads come home from work and acknowledge the children before the mom bathes them and gets them off to bed.
but i digress. so i am not sure that i am hiding the fact that i am giddy about my kids going back to school. well, i know i am not hiding it because i say it - to anyone who will listen. it's that good for me. in fact, recently, i was telling another 10-year-old, who happens to be homeschooled, that i couldn't wait for my kids to start school and she looked at me and asked in an accusatory tone "why are you ready for them to start school?" and i replied "to get them the hell away from me so that i can get something done and have some peace." okay, i didn't really say that, i said something like that i had a lot of things to get done and that it would be much easier when the kids were at school. either way, i felt her 10-year-old homeschooled judgment. and don't think that i am picking on homeschoolers, because i haven't yet. i actually considered homeschooling, but then i decided that i wanted my kids to be smart - and alive - so we went the traditional school route. i do, however, respect people who homeschool - in the same way that i respect religious freaks - in an i-completely-can't-relate-to-you kind of way.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
the grown-up rules of drinking beer
too bad i don't actually have any readers because today i need some advice. i am wondering if it is unacceptable for me to drink beer before the parent orientation at my kids' new school. unfortunately, the event is scheduled smack in the middle of my happy hours. i will likely only have one beer prior to the orientation, but i hate feeling limited and am wondering if two beers is really going to make an obvious difference. i would hate to be perceived as intoxicated at my first appearance at the new school, but it is a beach school so perhaps most of the parents and teachers will be intoxicated.
oddly enough, the parent-orientation-beer dilemma is not covered by my personal beer rules. the first of which is the general rule of one beer per day (although there appears to be a lot of support for a proposed amendment to make this two per day). there are, however, numerous exceptions to the general rule. they include: it is okay to have additional beer on the weekends (and thursday, because it is a pre-weekend day and my favorite day of the week) and holidays and birthdays (or events involving significant numbers of (more than two) family members). additional beer is also allowed if i have a babysitter or if we are going out - in fact, additional beer is mandatory if we are going out with the kids. additional beer is also acceptable if i have company or am socializing in any way - for instance, a good heart-to-heart phone call with an old friend counts. additional beer is okay on any day that could be called dreary or gloomy - this pertains to weather, but can also pertain to the economy or my personal affairs or those of a close friend.
there are also rules about the time of day when beer-drinking can commence. generally, no surprises here, it's 5 o'clock. however, i have recently relocated from eastern time to the central time zone and am having trouble making the transition. during football season, drinking may begin as early as one hour before an SEC game, unless it's a night game, in which case drinking may begin at 5pm EST (pardon the overuse of caps in this sentence). if you are actually attending a football game, drinking can start as early as 10am, but a lighter, more hydrating beer is recommended - like budweiser or in a pinch, a light beer. another major exception to the time limitations involves boating. if you are boating (but not driving the boat), drinking can occur without limitation. in the summertime, beer drinking may begin as early as 4pm, perhaps slightly earlier if it is really hot outside or if the children are not in a summer camp. these rules are really a work in progress. i must wrap it up now - it's raining here and nearly 5 o'clock.
oddly enough, the parent-orientation-beer dilemma is not covered by my personal beer rules. the first of which is the general rule of one beer per day (although there appears to be a lot of support for a proposed amendment to make this two per day). there are, however, numerous exceptions to the general rule. they include: it is okay to have additional beer on the weekends (and thursday, because it is a pre-weekend day and my favorite day of the week) and holidays and birthdays (or events involving significant numbers of (more than two) family members). additional beer is also allowed if i have a babysitter or if we are going out - in fact, additional beer is mandatory if we are going out with the kids. additional beer is also acceptable if i have company or am socializing in any way - for instance, a good heart-to-heart phone call with an old friend counts. additional beer is okay on any day that could be called dreary or gloomy - this pertains to weather, but can also pertain to the economy or my personal affairs or those of a close friend.
there are also rules about the time of day when beer-drinking can commence. generally, no surprises here, it's 5 o'clock. however, i have recently relocated from eastern time to the central time zone and am having trouble making the transition. during football season, drinking may begin as early as one hour before an SEC game, unless it's a night game, in which case drinking may begin at 5pm EST (pardon the overuse of caps in this sentence). if you are actually attending a football game, drinking can start as early as 10am, but a lighter, more hydrating beer is recommended - like budweiser or in a pinch, a light beer. another major exception to the time limitations involves boating. if you are boating (but not driving the boat), drinking can occur without limitation. in the summertime, beer drinking may begin as early as 4pm, perhaps slightly earlier if it is really hot outside or if the children are not in a summer camp. these rules are really a work in progress. i must wrap it up now - it's raining here and nearly 5 o'clock.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
lucky charms
today was rather dull as journal entries go. i mean, it was the usual. got up, drank coffee (or the concoction that i refer to as coffee. a friend of mine, ms. teri carey, once saw me fixing my coffee and asked "do you even like coffee?" i really don't even start tasting until there are 3 sugars in), ate toast, fed kids, fed dog and ducks, took dog out, picked up poop with fancy new biodegradable doggie bags (feeling very green), lost mac at nearby pond, panicked causing the groundskeeper/handyman guy at our townhouses to come and see what i was yelling about, found mac, yelled at him, took him to the rec center for the afternoon, cleaned the house, met with mac's soon-to-be teacher to prepare her for the classroom disaster that she is headed for, etc.
the late afternoon, and dinner, were uneventful as well. i cheated and bought one of those rotisserie chickens and for dessert, we had cereal. i recently bought lucky charms - and i generally brag on myself for not buying sugary cereal for the kids - it's one of the few parenting things that i am proud of - but anyway, in a moment of weakness, i bought them some lucky charms. well, in all honesty, mac picked out coco puffs, amelia picked out fruity pebbles and i got the lucky charms for me. this is what happens when you take your children to the grocery store. but the sugary cereals are for dessert only - that's the rule. anway, i had forgotten how good lucky charms are. i used to eat all of the charms first because they are magically delicious and then i would eat the luckies out of guilt. but now, being more nutritionally savvy, i realize that it is okay to just eat the charms and spare myself all of the calories in the tasteless luckies.
the late afternoon, and dinner, were uneventful as well. i cheated and bought one of those rotisserie chickens and for dessert, we had cereal. i recently bought lucky charms - and i generally brag on myself for not buying sugary cereal for the kids - it's one of the few parenting things that i am proud of - but anyway, in a moment of weakness, i bought them some lucky charms. well, in all honesty, mac picked out coco puffs, amelia picked out fruity pebbles and i got the lucky charms for me. this is what happens when you take your children to the grocery store. but the sugary cereals are for dessert only - that's the rule. anway, i had forgotten how good lucky charms are. i used to eat all of the charms first because they are magically delicious and then i would eat the luckies out of guilt. but now, being more nutritionally savvy, i realize that it is okay to just eat the charms and spare myself all of the calories in the tasteless luckies.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
i almost found the lord - at church of all places
in the spirit of the journal (i.e. less pressure) style, i will tell you about my day. steve, my husband, had to work and i decided to take the kids to church. we have never gone to church on a regular basis and we thought we would try it out here (in a weak effort to avoid eternal damnation, among other things). i have to admit, i have been enjoying it. i swear, it's like a self-help book (which i am a big fan of, despite that i am not really sure they actually help all that much). the first time we attended this church, the theme was forgiveness. the message being that forgiving someone frees you up from the effort it takes being mad at them. this one was not a problem for me. the next week, the message was to be thankful. this one was more difficult for me as i am constantly more aware of what i need (for instance, help with these kids and a cook) than what i have (two hungry kids and a hatred of cooking). but i am working on this one and i like the idea of being thankful. but about today - i have to tell you how the day started before i can tell you about the sermon. so steve, at work. i get the kids dressed and ready to go and mac complains that he is bored - i tell him to go and get in the car while amelia and i finish getting ready. amelia and i then get in the car - where mac is not. i look all through the house - no mac. i scan the pond that we live on - no mac. finally, i get in the car and drive to the pond across the street where mac has been forbidden to go (with threats of violence, loss of the wii, loss of the DS, anything i could think of). i get out, find him (halfway across the pond) and get him in the car all the while yelling in a shrill crazy-sounding voice that he'd better hope that god forgives him for doing this to me. we finally get to church and he refuses to go to sunday school. four workers try to assist and encourage him to no avail. i take him back to the car and yell at him more (this yelling thing, becoming a recurring theme with me lately, has got to stop - one, it's just bad parenting and two, it just isn't funny material for my blog) and then we go back into sunday school and try again. after about 10 minutes, the teacher tells me to just leave and she will call me if he doesnt calm down (by the way, he is lying in the floor screaming and crying - and he's 7). so by this time, i am 20 minutes late for church - but as luck would have it, i have only missed all of the singing (as it is a contemporary service) and that is fine with me because i am not a sing/clap/tap along kind of person. the sermon starts and the topic is parenting - specificallywhat to do when you have reached your wit's end with your child. i almost felt a connection with god and the church. but in the end, the advice was to let jesus into your home. we don't know anyone in this town yet and i have welcomed jesus and everyone else into my home and it really hasn't done much for my parenting skills as of yet. i am certainly open to jesus or anyone else coming over and lending a hand though. i am going to wait this one out.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
default topics
since i am new to the blog - which by the way, i may call "journal" because i feel less pressure when i do so - i feel like i need to tell you, my imaginary readership, that when i am uninspired, i will have default topics. they are: my kids and tv. regarding the kids, i hope this doesn't conjure up images of kathy lee gifford (from the old regis and kathy lee) going on about her precious cody (yes, i know this ages me). but don't worry - my kids aren't nearly that precious.
and to keep you up to speed, i should tell you that i have two kids, amelia, almost 10, and mac, almost 7, both of whom watch a good bit of tv. alot of parents today will try and convince you that the tv is bad for your kids. of course, these are the same parents who are shuffling their 3-year-old to soccer and scheduling back-to-back playdates. when i was a kid, playdates were called ronnie-and-glenda-getting-together-smoking-and-drinking-coffee and me and chris, my playdate, were told essentially to get lost. we could have watched as much tv as we wanted, but after an episode of flintstones and an andy griffith, we grew bored with tv.
nowadays, my kids are watching spongebob and icarly. i have cut back to about 4 episodes of law & order per week - down from about 3 a night. i can watch the svu one if there isn't a regular sam watterson episode available, but i cannot watch the criminal intent series primarily because the main guy is just too smart for me. he always knows the real story and the girl on the show, god love her, never figures anything out. i just can't be asked to believe that she would not have been fired in real life by now. i have scaled back the law & orders to allow room for more scrubs. and speaking of medical shows, i saw a preview last night for ER (i did feel i had to use caps here despite my distaste for them). i cannot believe this show is still on. i thought for sure a bomb would have exploded in that place during a quarantine for a leprosy outbreak and killed everyone except noah wylie, who would have to perform his own brain surgery to save himself. frankly, as shallow as it might sound, i lost interest in the show not long after george clooney left. so i have covered my tv preference and my kids. i am not sure how much more material i have.
and to keep you up to speed, i should tell you that i have two kids, amelia, almost 10, and mac, almost 7, both of whom watch a good bit of tv. alot of parents today will try and convince you that the tv is bad for your kids. of course, these are the same parents who are shuffling their 3-year-old to soccer and scheduling back-to-back playdates. when i was a kid, playdates were called ronnie-and-glenda-getting-together-smoking-and-drinking-coffee and me and chris, my playdate, were told essentially to get lost. we could have watched as much tv as we wanted, but after an episode of flintstones and an andy griffith, we grew bored with tv.
nowadays, my kids are watching spongebob and icarly. i have cut back to about 4 episodes of law & order per week - down from about 3 a night. i can watch the svu one if there isn't a regular sam watterson episode available, but i cannot watch the criminal intent series primarily because the main guy is just too smart for me. he always knows the real story and the girl on the show, god love her, never figures anything out. i just can't be asked to believe that she would not have been fired in real life by now. i have scaled back the law & orders to allow room for more scrubs. and speaking of medical shows, i saw a preview last night for ER (i did feel i had to use caps here despite my distaste for them). i cannot believe this show is still on. i thought for sure a bomb would have exploded in that place during a quarantine for a leprosy outbreak and killed everyone except noah wylie, who would have to perform his own brain surgery to save himself. frankly, as shallow as it might sound, i lost interest in the show not long after george clooney left. so i have covered my tv preference and my kids. i am not sure how much more material i have.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
my apologies
with this being my first blog as well as my first blog entry, i thought that a good place to start would be an apology, for this and all future entries. i have to confess that i have never read a blog before (regularly anyway), but as i was setting this one up, i saw that you should choose a topic to blog about that you are familiar with. i find this too limiting, so as of yet, this blog has no theme.
regarding the name of my blog, all of the good names were taken or sounded like a porn site or both. however, i can't imagine who wouldn't be captivated by lucky charms and beer - together or separately (except perhaps my friend mary ann who thinks that the charms are too chalky). last, i should tell you, my nonexistent readership, that i don't like capital letters. i know this bothers some people.
regarding the name of my blog, all of the good names were taken or sounded like a porn site or both. however, i can't imagine who wouldn't be captivated by lucky charms and beer - together or separately (except perhaps my friend mary ann who thinks that the charms are too chalky). last, i should tell you, my nonexistent readership, that i don't like capital letters. i know this bothers some people.
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