i almost found the lord - at church of all places

in the spirit of the journal (i.e. less pressure) style, i will tell you about my day. steve, my husband, had to work and i decided to take the kids to church. we have never gone to church on a regular basis and we thought we would try it out here (in a weak effort to avoid eternal damnation, among other things). i have to admit, i have been enjoying it. i swear, it's like a self-help book (which i am a big fan of, despite that i am not really sure they actually help all that much). the first time we attended this church, the theme was forgiveness. the message being that forgiving someone frees you up from the effort it takes being mad at them. this one was not a problem for me. the next week, the message was to be thankful. this one was more difficult for me as i am constantly more aware of what i need (for instance, help with these kids and a cook) than what i have (two hungry kids and a hatred of cooking). but i am working on this one and i like the idea of being thankful. but about today - i have to tell you how the day started before i can tell you about the sermon. so steve, at work. i get the kids dressed and ready to go and mac complains that he is bored - i tell him to go and get in the car while amelia and i finish getting ready. amelia and i then get in the car - where mac is not. i look all through the house - no mac. i scan the pond that we live on - no mac. finally, i get in the car and drive to the pond across the street where mac has been forbidden to go (with threats of violence, loss of the wii, loss of the DS, anything i could think of). i get out, find him (halfway across the pond) and get him in the car all the while yelling in a shrill crazy-sounding voice that he'd better hope that god forgives him for doing this to me. we finally get to church and he refuses to go to sunday school. four workers try to assist and encourage him to no avail. i take him back to the car and yell at him more (this yelling thing, becoming a recurring theme with me lately, has got to stop - one, it's just bad parenting and two, it just isn't funny material for my blog) and then we go back into sunday school and try again. after about 10 minutes, the teacher tells me to just leave and she will call me if he doesnt calm down (by the way, he is lying in the floor screaming and crying - and he's 7). so by this time, i am 20 minutes late for church - but as luck would have it, i have only missed all of the singing (as it is a contemporary service) and that is fine with me because i am not a sing/clap/tap along kind of person. the sermon starts and the topic is parenting - specificallywhat to do when you have reached your wit's end with your child. i almost felt a connection with god and the church. but in the end, the advice was to let jesus into your home. we don't know anyone in this town yet and i have welcomed jesus and everyone else into my home and it really hasn't done much for my parenting skills as of yet. i am certainly open to jesus or anyone else coming over and lending a hand though. i am going to wait this one out.