recently an acquaintance gave me a brochure for an extra curricular activity for my children. this may sound harmless, perhaps even thoughtful, until i tell you that the brochure was for an etiquette class called "perfectly polished." i tried not to take this personally - as a suggestion that my children needed an etiquette class - although admittedly, they are neither perfect nor polished in any sense of the words.
but i decided i would look online anyway and see what this class was all about. on the home page, i saw that the classes included social education, covering topics like handshakes, table and telephone manners, and a cotillion class concentrating on host/hostess duties, napkins, the dos and donts of dining as well as several dance classes instructing kids on the fox trot, waltz and shag. a lot of words like "grace," "foundation for success," "poise," and "higher standards" were thrown about to the point of making me uncomfortable. it was then that i realized that not only did my children not know the proper use of utensils at a formal 13-piece dinner setting or the caribbean hustle, but i didn't either. how had i made it this far in life and how dare i send my kids off in the world to suffer the same fate - or worse, subject those of higher standards to my unsophisticated clan?
not too long ago, i saw the acquaintance's daughter and asked her how the class was going and she replied with something like "really well, thank you for asking." of course, i couldn't hear her very well because my daughter was screaming at her brother to stop making farting noises.
