high-five! not so much

today i went for a run on the beach. along the way, i passed an acquaintance who was also running. just as i reached her, i realized she was not waving at me as i had assumed, but was attempting to give me a high five. and it occurred to me at that moment that people can be broken down into two categories - people comfortable enough in their own skin to give high fives and people like me, who not only would never attempt to give a high five but are also incapable of successfully or comfortably accepting a high five. so as i awkwardly lifted my left hand, which was holding my ipod and had a cord draped from it, my friend saw that i was capable only of a no-contact wave and that i was not attempting to reciprocate. to my relief, she lowered her hand so that i was no longer under pressure to return the high five. and in that moment, i caught a glimpse of her face and it looked like a cross between irritation and disappointment. there was no way around it, i had let her down. and it's not only high fives at which i am completely inept - it's all kinds of platonic socio-physical gestures - hugging in particular. in fact, just days ago, i ran into a friend at the grocery store and she attempted a hug. i feel that my awkwardness has to be apparent and yet i am forced to reciprocate all too often. i tend to shrink a bit and uncomfortably hold out my hand or if it can't be avoided, my entire arm. and if forced to hug, i always keep the brunt of the hug on one side, never straight-on. real huggers aren't satisfied with the side hug though (even when you add the pat on the back) that much is obvious. they need full-on frontal contact with the squeeze-back. i don't understand the hugging or the high-fiving. i know that the huggers and high-fivers mean well and i appreciate the thoughts behind their intrusive gestures, i just prefer to use my words to express those thoughts and feelings. for instance, for me, a hug could be expressed by the phrase "how's it going?" or perhaps a jovial "good to see you." and as an alternative to the high-five, one might say "hey. how's it going?" all i'm saying is that there are lots of verbal options here. and while i can't speak for other non-huggers, i can say that i am fully capable of and more than happy to reciprocate a verbal gesture. so let's talk - but don't touch.