the mountain house

a while back, i found myself talking to this very attractive and very typical "southern woman." you know the type - always looks perfect, has the perfect family, is always telling stories about her perfect life. i knew this was going to be a painful conversation because it started out with her telling me how busy she had been - so busy in fact, that she had not even gotten to her mountain house that season.
the story continued and somehow this girl managed to do the two things that irritate me more than anything else - yes, even more than talk of her mountain house - she subjected me to her religious beliefs and she tried to get me to buy into her pyramid home-business scheme. i'm sure you are wondering how she managed to get both of those things into one conversation. well, it went something like this:
(for purposes of this story, i will call her scarlett and her husband, rhett. also, this conversation took place poolside where i sat in my mom-tankini and she posed in her bikini, looking absolutely flawless (except for her ridiculously huge fake boobs) holding her 3-month-old baby that she did not adopt. i will refer to the cosmetic pyramid-scheme company as "pyramid scheme."

scarlett: i'm just so busy with the boys. i know you must be too since you are working part-time.

me: yeah.

scarlett: i can't imagine if i had finished residency how hard it would be to manage my career and the boys. and i felt really bad when i first wanted to quit residency. i worried that i had wasted all that time and money going to medical school only to quit residency. but then one day, it just hit me. i realized that god had not sent me to medical school to be a doctor. he had sent me to meet rhett.

me: yeah. (swallowing a little vomit)

scarlett: but rhett's practice is doing well and a friend told me about pyramid scheme, a home-based business. it's a great opportunity and i think you would be really good at it. rhett was skeptical at first, but after he went to the meeting with me, he saw what a great opportunity it was for me to be able to share great products with my friends and family and supplement his income. you would be great at it and it's the perfect way to work from home while your kids are little and need you.

me: hey, speaking of kids needing me, mine are drowning, so i should go. it was nice talking to you.

as i am looking for ways to work, from home or otherwise, i reflected on this conversation with scarlett. she truly presented a picture of having it all. and i wonder if she does or if like so many people, she is just better at marketing and selling her life to others than i am. i'm afraid that my pitch isn't nearly as impressive - i mean, how could it be? i don't even have a mountain house.