foreign distractions

today i decided to call myself a writer. and not just because i got this cool leather-bound journal that makes me look like a writer. i decided to call myself a writer because i have officially set myself up for rejection by a real literary agent. i emailed this agent that recently spoke at a writers conference in my area. i guess though if i were a real writer, i would have attended the conference. and if i were a real writer, i wouldn't be sitting here at starbucks, trying to write in my new fancy journal but completely distracted by the people beside me speaking a foreign language. sadly, i am not worldly enough to recognize the language - perhaps french? and really, they aren't bad looking people. but i believe that speaking another language, or speaking english with a heavy accent of almost any kind, automatically makes you more attractive. for instance, we recently went skiing and my son's ski instructor was very nice and not unattractive, although he did have a substantial gap between his front teeth. when he spoke, however, it was with a fantastic british accent. it occurred to me then that with an accent, you really can get away with more physical flaws than you can without an accent. had andy, the gap-toothed instructor, been from south georgia, he would have been nothing short of hideous. okay, that may be an exaggeration but you get my point - that if you are unattractive, you should move to another country where you might be more appreciated. and speaking of appreciated, i need to go and check my email for rejection, something that if i am going to be a real writer, i should get used to.