crazy mary

i always say that beach people are crazy but when i think about other places i have lived, i know that crazy people are everywhere. and while they may be more concentrated here at the beach, one of the craziest people i ever met was in a small town in georgia. crazy mary. i knew crazy mary because she was the wife of my husband's coworker (that i will call lou). lou and mary were in their late 40s and were by all accounts an interesting couple. crazy mary and i would see each other at work-related gatherings - where one might assume that conversations would be rather dry since the common link among the women was a career that was not our own. over the five-year period when i knew crazy mary, we probably had five conversations - each more memorable than that last. the first time i met her was at a christmas party. it was beside the dessert table that she told me she was disappointed because she was unable to drink that night because of her hepatitis medication - and then she went on to say that "what with the DUI" and wrecking her husband's antique car (that he spent years restoring), it was probably for the best. and you really have to know crazy mary to truly appreciate the conversation - but try to keep in mind that she talks extremely loudly and has a southern accent that sounds fake - like the kind in movies.
the second time i talked with her was at an interview party for residency candidates. we were discussing how we grew up and she said to me "i grew up in alabama and my daddy liked for everybody to think he was real liberal and he was, right up til the time i started dating a black guy. but you know, he was just scared i was having sex with him - WHICH I WUZ." again, you have to keep in mind that words like "black," "sex," and "which i wuz" were said at a volume that exceeded all other voices in the room - at a party - that was loud.
but i think my favorite conversation with crazy mary was my last. it took place outdoors at a pool party. and it went like this.

crazy mary: so i guess you heard about lou's love child.

me (trying to contain my excitement over what might come next): no, i didn't hear about that. (crazy mary unaware of my response and perhaps even my presence).

crazy mary: well, apparently our best friend denise's son chris who is 19 is lou's. i guess lou and denise had a thing right before our wedding. and she just told him that chris is his.

me: really? i hadn't heard that.

crazy mary: well, i figure if youre gunna have a step kid, thats the way to do it is to get him when he is already grown. and i can't hold it against lou. i mean, who would i be to get all messed up about that after what i did on my bachelorette weekend.

unfortunately, we were interrupted (by a girl who was horrified when she caught on to the gist of the conversation) and so i never did get the details on that bachelorette weekend. i suspect it might have made for the best blog entry yet. but i suppose that is how things go for me - we keep moving around and i have to keep finding new crazy people to entertain me.