well, little league baseball season is over. my 7-year old son's team won two games. it was a long and painful season, but at the last game, we got our pictures. and the picture of mac in his baseball uniform, bat in hands, is fantastic. and isn't that what it is really all about? the memories of each miserable game, of strike-outs, of crying in the dug-out and bird-watching and circle-spinning in the outfield will fade but this picture, in which mac looks like he not only plays, but actually likes, baseball, will last forever.
and as the end of the school year approaches - so does the field trip - the thought of which has delighted my daughter all year and been a nagging source of dread for me. i am going to new orleans - on a charter bus - with fifth graders. what is more fun than a field-trip to new orleans..... with fifth graders? i don't know about you, but when i think new orleans, i think bring-the-kids-along-for-some-good-wholesome-family-fun. i tried to come up with some plausible way for me to lose the kids and stop off in a bar, just for a drink or two (just to take the edge off), but i'm not so sure it's going to happen. the problem is that i am one of those people that truly functions better with a couple of drinks in me - and it certainly helps in my ability to tolerate children. when you think about it - it's almost medicinal. and no one would ever judge a parent for needing medication. perhaps if i explained this to the teacher.
5th Graders in New Orleans? Next year maybe they can go to Vegas.
ReplyDeletemaybe you can make it truly educational and teach them how to get lots of beads.
ReplyDeleteNicole, as a former teacher of 5th graders who had to take a charter bus field trip to Raleigh (woo hoo) I bet it wouldn't take much convincing to find a bar, any bar, that could be made to hold some important historical significance so it could be used as a stopping point for at least a couple of minutes on the trip. Susan Wahler
ReplyDeleteNicole, there was a teacher in 7th grade we all had that taught who knows what, but i recall reading in her class everyday (her room was next to Mr. "i forget" but he weighed 80 lbs and 30lbs of that was his pumpkin head and he was a freaking demon for putting shit on the chalkboard and all the while he managed to keep a like of spittle between his lips when he lectured). Anyway, Ms. "i forget" used to drink like she was afraid they would stop making hooch, and we would often see a pint of "Jack" in her purse up at the podium. I remind you of her because i fear you are overlooking some enlightenment she may have been in possession of. DRINK!!! Whether it be a pint hidden in the cavernous purse one "must need" for a field trip of this magnitude, or a flask filled with the finest of spirits, you owe it to yourself to be a little more like Ms. "i forget name" from 7th , wait, maybe 8th grade.... hell i forget cause i HAVE learned from the wisdom of Ms. "I forget" and am indeed drunk right now!
ReplyDeleteIn closing, please consider becoming the hours of entertainment and story telling your daughters class could have upon seeing you become Ms. "totally forgettable name" from 7/8th grade, and just drink like there is no tomorrow.
Too funny, Doug. Mrs. Shearer... and I've blocked out the other guy's name because he used to stand over me and I was terrified he was going to lose that spittle on me any minute. And he used to drum his scrawny ET fingers on my desk while he talked.
ReplyDelete