southern women

when you have no friends and don't interact with anyone, it makes it hard coming up with blog entries making fun of people.  so i started thinking about people in more general terms and decided i had enough experience with and disdain for southern women to produce a blog entry.  and really, it isn't all southern women (especially given that i am one) - it's the stereotypical southern woman.  trust me, you know one. in fact, you probably borrowed her mountain house one weekend.

i decided that the best way to describe what i don't like about these southern women is to describe what i do like about women i know from the midwest.  i have two good friends who, coincidentally, are both from chicago.  both of these women like what they like, tell you what they like, tell you what they don't like and they don't worry about hurting your feelings by having opinions.  if they can't come to your party because they have other plans, they might say something like "i can't come to your party because i have other plans." southern women approach things differently - they fret over hurting feelings and may lie to avoid doing so.  they are saddled with guilt (catholic-style), even when there is no good reason for it.  southern women would respond with something like "well, i am not sure if i can come to the party.  well, i mean, i need to..... well, it's possible if..... i should be able to get to both places at the same time. so yeah, i think i should be able to come."

southern women are accustomed to lying and being lied to in the name of hospitality. it is not only accepted, but expected. they also apologize profusely and sometimes sincerely for things for which they are not to blame.  for instance, (and i hate that i am using myself as an example) the other day, i was getting out of my car at someone else's house at the same time a fed ex truck pulled up.  the driver hopped out and approached me with a package and said "are you melissa?" to which i replied, "no, i'm sorry, i'm not melissa."  i'm sorry i'm not melissa? why would i even say that? i am most definitely not sorry that i am not melissa.  unless, of course, she has a nice mountain house.