the real reason you shouldn't talk to strangers

i know you think i hate people.  and really, i do.  but i don't hate them right away.  in fact, i enjoy talking to strangers.  strangers are almost always more interesting than people you already know.  but once in a while, even a stranger can too quickly become just like a tired, annoying acquaintance that you avoid making eye-contact with at publix.  this is the story of one such encounter.

a year or so ago, i was in a bar in new york with my sister when this seemingly normal woman beside me said she was having trouble with her phone and asked if i would touch her screen to see if it would respond to my touch. the short story is that i could not get her phone to work. the longer story is that this woman with a broken touchscreen provided me with two hours of unadulterated know-it-all.

in describing her cell phone issues, she managed to get in that she was a writer, who had several successful books. naturally, having an interest in writing (as well as an interest in having a published author as a friend), i pursued a conversation with her.  initially, we discussed her most recent book - a guide to romance using astrology.  and while i am not particularly interested in astrology, i am interested in people crazy enough to believe in using astrology to guide them through life. but that wasn't all. she was also a former editor and had contributed to many magazines.

i have to say, that as a half-assed, occasional blog-writer, i was, at the very least, interested in some advice - non-astrologically speaking. as it turned out though, she was short on advice and big on non-stop talking and knowing everything.  and not just about writing.  she had broken up with the love of her life (seems she didn't follow the stars on that one) and discussed her strong belief in soul mates and of course, how one's soul mate would be found astrologically.  she also discussed her many years living abroad and the numerous languages she spoke, including a monologue on the failure of the american culture to embrace individual "spirituality" or to truly "listen" to other people.  she described her bout with mercury poisoning and the evils of immunizations, medical science, doctors, yeast and gluten.  she was single and had no children, but offered a plethora of knowledge and wisdom on marriage and parenting.  the woman had a lot to say.

eventually though, i couldn't drink any more beer and had ingested just enough that it didn't seem all that rude to just walk away mid-conversation.  she did still manage to give me a card, as i walked away, with the name of her latest book - he's just not in the stars (seriously, google it).